Over the last few months, I have been journey of healing, self-discovery, honesty and kindness to my body and mind that I had previously put through a lot of punishment and blame. I was in a place where wanted to make a difference in my life and needed to address events that have although have shaped my life, also dominate my thoughts every day. The thoughts, and flashbacks I had experienced before addressing with Rosie felt like I was engulfed in a mist where I found it it hard to breath, and the pain of hiding my miscarriages was a constant battle of suppressing my emotions.
I found the process of healing, and honesty with myself challenging. I felt a sense of relief as I tackled issues with Rosie that I had ‘pushed under the carpet’ and lifting the cover of emotional turmoil was something I had avoided for a very long time. I loved my counselling session with Rosie as I felt I was in an emotionally safe environment which enabled me to feel secure and supported, where I was also able to forgive myself for my actions in the past and the way I saw myself in the present.
Working with Rosie has enabled me to realise that my feelings are important to express and that through sadness, pain and despair that I have become the bravest I have ever been. Before meeting Rosie, I felt isolated, alone and tormented by trauma every day, trying to find answers to many questions. Now I feel at peace with my present and feel I have transitioned from being stuck between the life I had, not knowing who I was anymore, to a life that is now filled with optimism, hope and a healthy perception of myself.
Rosie has helped to remember my babies without crippling pain, self-loath and anger. I now feel an overwhelming sense of love and pride that I was their mum, and I will hold them both in my heart, until I can hold them in my arms.